my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize