I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
