he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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