I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
