I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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