I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
