honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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