STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
