i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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