Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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