haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
