this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
