im drinking this country out of the recession.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
