On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
someone owes me an orgasm
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
