guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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