it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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