just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
