I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Terrible idea I love it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
