I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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