she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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