just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
