Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
