Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
