Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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