Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Be still, my beating vagina.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
