Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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