I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize