this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
