it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
