Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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