I'm really into asian looking animals
She's JV to your varsity
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
