well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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