Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
