just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
