you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
People in love make me want to vomit
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
