WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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