Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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