once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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