Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
