Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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