Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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