my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
