You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
