problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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