Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
