I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize