I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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