I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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