yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
