Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
