My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
