"it" just moved
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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