He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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