dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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