your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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