hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
