the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
