and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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