is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
