so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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