Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize