A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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