Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Alive.
So much puke
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
