He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You pole danced in your parka.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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